Major Office Changes

I am sorry for neglecting you, my little blog, but there have been some very big changes in my office lately. Work has been stressful, exhausting and crazed, leaving me with very little time to update you. You see, during the second week of my internship there were some substantial layoffs in my company. Not only did the majority of departments lose headcount, but there were structural changes that left everyone with additional responsibilities on top of their already heavy workload. Even as an intern, I sensed that major changes were on the horizon and when my boss informed me that she, in addition to two others in the department, were changing positions, I can't say I was surprised. These past few days were filled with moving boxes, new assignments and greater responsibilities. It has been somewhat of an awkward week for me as I attempt to navigate my assignments without burdening my crazed bosses, say goodbye to coworkers and welcome new heads of the department. The tension in my office is tangible and it slowly has trickled down to the bottom of the barrel (me!). While these changes weren't surprising, mostly because I am choosing to work in a rapidly changing and supposedly dying industry, their effects have been.


The leads in my department have always expected work to be performed based on the saying, "It is better to ask permission than to beg for forgiveness." However, even in this short period of time, the protocol appears to be moving towards, "It is better to beg for forgiveness than to ask permission." The high stress levels and workloads leave very little time for questions of little importance or urgency; whereas I would usually ask for some clarifications before, I now perform the work to the best of my ability and rely on past cues to gauge the expected results. Thankfully I have yet to beg for forgiveness, but as larger projects become my responsibility, it is possible that it is in my future. I've noticed that my bosses expect more from me and the need to be independent is greater. Of course, they are always still available, but it is necessary to judge when is the best time to ask for help and what is the greatest need. 


There is a limit to what work an intern can do without prior knowledge of a project or assistance from a coworker. I have felt frustrated this week because of unattainable expectations placed upon me by my bosses. There were a few times that I almost threw my hands up and said, "How the HELL am I supposed to know that? I barely work here!" At that point, I did have a conversation with one of my uninvolved coworkers who explained that these frustrations were credible as our bosses were time-crunched and busy, allowing them to have little time to correctly assign projects. I did the best that I could under limited time and knowledge; I used the resources available to get the assignment done, even if it was a stretch from my domain.


Unfortunately, I am not really sure where this leaves me. I expect that my assignments will continue to grow and I will begin to work under greater pressure to perform. At the end of the day, it is sometimes hard to distinguish the blurred roles of intern and an entry-level position for some people. I'm not at the point yet where I want to bring my work home and stress about potentially imperfect assignments over the weekend. Whether that is the best advice for a new intern, I'm not sure, but it works the best for me.